what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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