i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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