Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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