garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
