I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
