Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you had me at cake vodka
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
