weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
