So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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