Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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