I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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