i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
