Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
