from now on my penis is your penis
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
