I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
