found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize