HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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