covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Never underestimate the power of titties
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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