But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
