oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
