..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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