My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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