yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I need water and some morals
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I love you.
Bad choice
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
