I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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