im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
