I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Randomize