This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
