Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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