We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
