on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
