im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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