Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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