Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
