I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
All I want is dick and wine.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
