Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
