no. you can't hotbox the world.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
