At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
