A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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