you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
