Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
