i need an iv and a liver transplant
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
