So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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