Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
