my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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