her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
