I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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