Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
