it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
