I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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