there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
