is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
