I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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