I've blown a few things in my day
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
