conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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