i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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