I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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