By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
