i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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