Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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