Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
