I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
