Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
