He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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