My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
