Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize