Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
