Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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